When I die do not cry .. This place wasn't meant for me you see. I didn't want to be here not then or now. If I loved you know I loved you with all my heart .. And for my kids my soul I would give for you to just want to live, love, laugh, and smile. … but when I die do not cry. It is said that hell we cannot escape but this world this place it was my hell….so my hell I have escaped. As I move onto the unknown know that I longed for the sweet release of death. Never again will I wake and think Oh God not again I will never hold back tears  because I wanted so bad to be gone. I cannot even now tell you why … All I know is that I really wanted to die. It's not that your love wasn't enough my babies you were the lights of my life you are why I held on so long… Mom and Dad please don't be sad or mad you were the best I couldn't have dreamed up better parents...Richard and Keith thank you for being my brothers and my best friends I love you and was lucky to have been your sister… Marshall and Travis my other brothers l love you and I'm so glad to have had u in my lives keep that strength that u have to always be able to rise again.Buddy you are one of the few that knows true happiness I loved you as much as I despised you but you know that I think it was  that  you  could smile and be happy in the worst of times I envied you for that…And to the rest of my family and friends thank you for all the good times and the bad …  I ask that each one of you pass your love for life and knowledge to my kids and be their shoulder to lean on because I just no longer can. ...Remember I loved you ..and …
Do Not Cry When I DIE .
B.R. 2018