i had been writing for you since the first time we met at ten years old and i fell in love with every part of you and i wrote for you until i fell out of love like air rushing back into my lungs after holding my breath for years and years
i wrote this for you not quite a poem but little snippets here and there keeping you up because time zones and insomnia calling you “my love” and meaning it with all my being in the way only a child can and i am still asking myself why it ended the way it did when did you stop loving me? why did you stop loving me?
i wrote this for you probably the first time i ever tried to rhyme in a poem and it was terrible but i meant every word every time i said i love you every letter you sent me that i tacked to my wall we are going to meet in person and i am going to snot and cry all over you ******
i wrote this for you when you still loved me still wanted me what felt like more than you did when i thought i was your daughter and we would meet for lunch and when you hugged me you smelled like i did when i was a child and hadn’t seen you in months that quickly became years i felt safe in your arms but i think i’m afraid of you now
i wrote this for you and it was too romantic for who you are for who we are as people and as a friends and i told you i loved you with my arms around your neck because i thought i wouldn’t see you again and i still wonder if you heard me but i’m not going to ask
i wrote this for you with your hair bright as flames eyes sparkling in the sun you always smell like home and i want to carry that with me all the time because it makes me feel safe and loved
you make me feel safe and loved
and i wrote this for you with ink smeared on my fingertips and my wrists like the colors used to be when i was a young boy and some of it hurt but more of it made me smile