I never planned on growing up,
Now it feels impossible sometimes.
I never planned on smoking,
Now I find it hard to quit.
I never planned on being this far gone,
And I know all too well,
I can’t go back…
I know when I’ve ****** up,
Because it seems to be something
I’m naturally good at.
I’ve never been great at
Doing the “right” thing.
I want to do better,
But better never happens…
And even when things do get better,
It’s only temporary.
I know that anytime I’m happiest,
That I will never stay this happy.
I can’t fall in love anymore,
Without questioning the other persons,
Motives, feelings and reasons for loving me.
Who would love,
Such a broken soul,
As myself?