Your fresh lips scare me
the way you abuse and manipulate.
I revisit old memories and get angry.

I am going through recovery
sometimes feeling terminally ill.
My mind tries to escape the story,
pockets of my soul you tried to ****.
 
Your damage is thick in my mind.
Time does the sharpening.
Expenditures barrow over time
forever staining the walls of my memories.

I pause, the pattern won’t break
Scroll through to the end
Insert what I want to laminate
It’s a sickness,

toxic from my own artificial mistakes
I will live here in freedom forgiven 
chastised by the feelings I cannot emulate.