Nov 2018
Why
I should be happy
I think
They always say Theres so much to live for
I know
At least I think I do
But I still want it all to end
I should be happy
But I'm not
I mean sometimes I am
But not now not at night
Not in my head or my thoughts
Why cant others see it
I just want to disappear
Those who bully I hate them
But maybe.
I hate myself
I dont
But
I do
I dont know anymore
I say I'm fine
But others dont ask
So why answer they dont care
I constantly think
How much better the world and others would be without me
But at least I know that I might be a good thing
I mean thats what I have to say to myself each night
Maybe this world just isnt the right one for me.
God wouldnt approve and thats probably the thing that keeps me alive
I just want to see the world without me
But without me I cant see the world
Why is life such a terrible thing
Filled with terrible things and terrible corrupt people
Why do the dumbest things become popular
But why do I feel
Nothing
I dont feel anything about modern culture
Others watch
Others laugh
Others gain entertainment
I watch
I think
Why is this funny
But others are laughing
So laugh a little
Force a smile
Say something they cant know
Because if you dont do anything they will feel awkward
But my forced laugh, smile, and comment make them feel awkward too
Nothing I do will make anyone else happy
I may do the right thing
I may do a funny thing
Others watch me
They ignore
Someone else does the same or less
People cheer or laugh or enjoy it
Them feeling happy is good
But my lack of ability for something must mean something
I dont need to be here
I have hurt so many unintentionally
By doing what I thought was right
Maybe my right is just wrong
Maybe I'm just wrong
Wrong for this world
I dont know
But shouldn't I be happy I did amazing things today
I play music and march and do things I enjoy
But afterwards when all is done
All is packed up and quiet
All I feel is that I should and cant belong
So why try
Why do Anything
Who the duck cares
Clearly no one
Just why
Why
I don't know anymore
Just
Why
I should be happy
I think
They always say Theres so much to live for
I know
At least I think I do
But I still want it all to end
I should be happy
But I'm not
I mean sometimes I am
But not now not at night
Not in my head or my thoughts
Why cant others see it
I just want to disappear
Those who bully I hate them
But maybe.
I hate myself
I dont
But
I do
I dont know anymore
I say I'm fine
But others dont ask
So why answer they dont care
I constantly think
How much better the world and others would be without me
But at least I know that I might be a good thing
I mean thats what I have to say to myself each night
Maybe this world just isnt the right one for me.
God wouldnt approve and thats probably the thing that keeps me alive
I just want to see the world without me
But without me I cant see the world
Why is life such a terrible thing
Filled with terrible things and terrible corrupt people
Why do the dumbest things become popular
But why do I feel
Nothing
I dont feel anything about modern culture
Others watch
Others laugh
Others gain entertainment
I watch
I think
Why is this funny
But others are laughing
So laugh a little
Force a smile
Say something they cant know
Because if you dont do anything they will feel awkward
But my forced laugh, smile, and comment make them feel awkward too
Nothing I do will make anyone else happy
I may do the right thing
I may do a funny thing
Others watch me
They ignore
Someone else does the same or less
People cheer or laugh or enjoy it
Them feeling happy is good
But my lack of ability for something must mean something
I dont need to be here
I have hurt so many unintentionally
By doing what I thought was right
Maybe my right is just wrong
Maybe I'm just wrong
Wrong for this world
I dont know
But shouldn't I be happy I did amazing things today
I play music and march and do things I enjoy
But afterwards when all is done
All is packed up and quiet
All I feel is that I should and cant belong
So why try
Why do Anything
Who the duck cares
Clearly no one
Just why
Why
I don't know anymore
Just
Why
