one of the things i'll never get over as a depressed person
is the feeling of utter e m p t i n e s s...
you don't know it till you feel it
and you don't feel it because it's absence of a feeling that you feel

suddenly nothing makes sense and you yearn for a pen to scribble your thoughts down on a piece of paper that you will never let anyone read anyways so what's the point

your questions stop having ?s at the ends of them and the threads in your heart are undoing themselves until you have annihilated your chances for sanity

you listen to music you wouldn't normally like to listen to, but your person of interest told you to listen to them so you do

and taking pills becomes a habit and sometimes you forget why you even take meds because i thought for a long time that feeling like a gray cloud 24/7 was normal until someone put it into a box and labeled it

"chronic depressive disorder"