I woke up late. **** it I hate waking up late.
Hungover. Terribly hungover.
Shower


the only way ill be able to start today is if i crawl in that shower. turn the water all the way up to scolding.
I sit and let the water hit my back like ambers from fresh flames
i watch my skin turn pink from the heat.
I sit and sit and think of where to start and how I didnt want too and there is too much to do ,
going back and forth with myself for much to long on where to begin
I grab my shampoo and begin to wash my hair.
Wash it all out baby, it's all good, just wash it out.
Skin still burning
Im still sitting
Still dissapointed in myself for drinking
and then all at once ,
I wasnt.
I sat up and then I just got up. I got up and reached the dial and turned the water all the way cold. I needed it this is what I need I need to get out of my comfort I need different my body and life is begging for change so I turn the water even more make me feel like im ice
Wake me up.
i reach for my conditioner and massage it into my hair from the tips to the root and twist it into a bun
I grabbed my sponge and teatree wash and poured
and told myself
Scrub.
Scrub it all away. Today is a new day you are reborn everyday is a new chance every day you are forgiven if forgiveness is what you choose and you can be better. todays my chance to be better. All I have to do is begin
I walk back underneath the icy water and my eucalyptus plant and i rinse
I close my eyes and rinse
and I stay under awhile longer and just embraced the cold.
I open my eyes turn the water off .
Thankyou
Bless You