sometimes I close my eyes and dream of a world where I made all the right decisions. a world where I was smart. and beautiful. and loved. where U wouldn't hate everybody because of the hate I have for myself. where my dad actually cared. where my mom didn't cry wishing she had more because I'll never be enough. a world where my family actually cared and didn't dislike me at all. where U wouldn't have to keep secrets from my friends. a place where I have someone who loves me and I love. a perfect little place, with a perfect little life, where I was perfect.
but then I open my eyes and the dream goes away and I am faced with reality. a reality where all my fantasies have become the opposite.