Have I any poems left?
Have I ANY words to share?

I do not dare.
I fear that all that might be left is -Despair.

I want to be a light , a hand from Our Lord
Yet all I mutter from my mouth is an overflowing shore of discord.

I go on with a flickering of this Light,
but I bow in sub human shame for the peril of my insight.

Blemished, scarred in the gulf that was once my heart,
I no longer bear the audacity of my gifts to impart.

I am dull in my consciousness, I chose this,I do recall.
I was blind or foolish, to believe I could jump yet not suffer the fall.

I unknowingly offer foul gifts to those in pain.
I was in the guise from myself . This is the place I looked inward to share my honest intention. There I was engulfed  in the wretchedness of what I had become. I saw who I am now. I was so deeply saddened by this realization.

There I sat, driving  but not looking, as I so often do, in word, while my eyes searched outward to fall inward, imploring for trust. I wanted someone to see my distrust in myself was as pure and new to me as it crept to the light, given by you.

I was tricked or complacent in maintaining my spirit.I found myself in the bright headlights of the sun offering foul fruits to another without even blinking.
I am sooo far off my course. I have not been thinking. Even my kindness is infected.I have not sought to assure my friend from the distrust and fear of who I may now be. I am afraid of the vision but I know that I do not believe that I am well enough to have trust.
I may offer a refreshment thinking its juice. But the fact is I may equally blindly offer a cup of rust. It is for their light i am thankful to have the sight to crawl out of this oblivion
that i have been living in