You know those moments in life where your thoughts are SO LOUD? Blaring over all actions your preforming as you watch them race and bounce through your head. All the sudden I realized how badly I would give anything just to be able to see him face to face one more time... Just to spend one more night together, limbs as one and hearts beating together with our chest plates pressed tight together.

As I sit there in the shower and let the wave pass I laid down on my back and just let the water hit me wherever it pleased. Staring up at my shower, watching the water run down and the little droplets on the ceiling in such a perfect formation, life just felt so poetic down there. Everything I was feeling had imagery of perfect poetry lines scribbling down in my head mixed with the oh so fitting vision I was looking up at. It was beautiful.

You know that feeling where the whole world is spinning around you and you're kind of in the eye of the storm? At a stand still? That's where I was. Or, maybe everything around me was still and I was the one spinning. It was calm.

All I know is my heart was radiating like it hadn't in months and I genuinely felt beautiful as I hurt for everything we would never be. I saw a beauty in myself and in the connection we had... I felt it on his side to. Do y'all think that's possible? When you've loved someone to be able to "feel" each other? It's also very possible I'm insane or something.

My heart is warm and hurting right now and I was close to positive I had a point to make when I started typing this. It's 1:30 am on Christmas Eve.