There is a fine line between a classic And used-up. Sometimes, it’s not the number of drivers That gets your attention, But how miserable the miles were earned. I can’t take credit for good gas mileage While the wind was at my back. Perhaps the difficult driving, Uphill and fighting the wind, Is the only type that counts for anything. I know three things for certain: That I am badly in need of a tune-up, That no matter what I wish, Or what anyone else may say, I do not run better on ethanol, And that, after one too many terrific test drives Which ended with selecting a different model With fewer miles And features, I have lost my faith in fair afternoons And cheeseburgers. When finding peace within Is like looking for wholesome crumbs Waiting, hiding beneath the seat, At some point, you stop putting out the sign Reading: Runs good - Reliable - Real Value, And you start parking, waiting For the first person to come along Who needs to go somewhere Tonight