i read up on new articles posted
reassuring me that clear skin is still a possibility
i see the bumps on my skin
physically causing pain to my well being
and socially causing bumps in my everyday life
at night i drown my face in chemicals
i moisturize when my self esteem is low
im online looking at people that will never know
the pain and the embarrassment
genetics gone wrong
a type of new skin
that’s second hand
that’s poorly made
with clogged up pores
and for past months lately
i don’t know if i possess beauty anymore
no one could ever begin
to tell me that people only care
about beauty within
when i examine my looks
i never seem to win
when do i go out?
it just depends
on my bad days
with skin that misbehaves
my bed is the only thing
that truly sees me
and on my good days
with skin sort of okay
i pick apart myself in other ways
i might have a inflamed case of body dysmorphia
and it’s not rare for me to cry
before getting through morning time
when i wake up from slumber
the amount of pimples on my face become a number
a number that controls my life
and the way i live daily
and turns my life from a yes
into a maybe
one time there was a week
i pretended to be sick
when i wouldn’t go out
and hang with my friends
they asked me what’s wrong
i said just a cough
but something else was wrong
i simply had enough
maybe i need therapy to see my potential
but it’s hard to be happy
when you can connect the dots on my face with a pencil
and the bumps on my face
have sets bumps for me in life
but i pray soon that
i will love my image again for just one night
this is how acne ruins my life