(Excerpts from my thought process of today.)
I've been implored by conversation and my own pieces I've taken from it
to find comfort in the absence of perfection.
I told myself today:
Find comfort in your flaws, my friend
for they are a part of you
and you must love them
just as much as you love the good parts
because it is you
and you are always going to be your greatest love
or your greatest loss.
Torn skin stings where it is starting to heal....
I have conflicting beasts inside me
duking it out for the better half of the meat.
The juicier, larger half.
lonely, maybe?
afraid to be anxious
but afraid to pop a Xanax
just to feed the addiction
and die a little more inside.
Seeking out comfort in seemingly more oedipus-like fashions.
Take that as you will.
(I don't care.)
my thumb gets near my mouth
I have the urge to **** it in between my lips
and roll my tongue around its sweet comfort
like a child I can no longer be
but such comfort
I get in warm bursts
from this pleasant incursion
I feel like an animal trapped in a hot car.