Dec 2012
I don’t have* any pressure to go sledding
Because I’m still afraid of falling on the ice
And you loved the snow
I don’t have to risk my life on icy back roads every day
On the pretense of returning your things
Just so I don’t have to wait 24 hours to see you
I don’t have an extra pair of your shoes under my bed
From when you accidentally left them there
You were always leaving your things around
I don’t have a second home to spend the day at
With open fields full of snow banks for fort-building
The house is gone and so are you
I don’t have a reason to build a snow-fort this year
No one cares to sleep in it, it’s too cold
You were that kind of crazy
I don’t have someone to bake cardamom cookies with
We both had sticky dough on our hands
And we washed them in the same sink at the same time
I don’t have a friend at the Christmas parties
Who can back up my wild stories about the week
And argue with me about the rules for card games
I don’t have a cuddle-buddy for watching movies
We never really got the chance to do that
We were always running off to get some alone time
I don’t have to hide when I’m changing out of my wet snowy clothes
Because you’re never going to walk in from the cold
And start changing your clothes too
I don’t have a fire in my hearth
But I’m sure there’s one in yours
I used to enjoy watching you make them with your dad
I don’t have any wet, *****, sandy puddles to clean up
Because you’ll never walk across my kitchen
And forget to take off your boots
I don’t have to walk around barefoot
Even if it means getting my socks wet
Because you’re not there to remind me with your calloused toes
I don’t have twice as many presents under the tree
Not because we ever exchanged gifts, we were too poor
But every present you received and loved made me happy too
I don’t have snow down my neck from the snowballs you threw
I don’t have wet globs of melting ice in my hair because you tackled me
I don’t have anyone to make tea for, because I don’t even like tea
I don’t have your countless little siblings to share my snacks with
I don’t have to make cooking mistakes because I can’t bring you baked oatmeal
I don’t have a built in heater to share the backseat with
I don’t have a hoodie I can pass back and forth between us
I don’t have a companion to go on long walks with
I don’t have a curious mind to share kissing ideas with
I don’t have a hand to hold when I’m about to fall down on the ice
I don’t have you
This is the time of year that makes me miss you
I start to notice the empty spaces in my life
And there are little things everywhere to remind me of you.
Because I’m still afraid of falling on the ice
And you loved the snow
I don’t have to risk my life on icy back roads every day
On the pretense of returning your things
Just so I don’t have to wait 24 hours to see you
I don’t have an extra pair of your shoes under my bed
From when you accidentally left them there
You were always leaving your things around
I don’t have a second home to spend the day at
With open fields full of snow banks for fort-building
The house is gone and so are you
I don’t have a reason to build a snow-fort this year
No one cares to sleep in it, it’s too cold
You were that kind of crazy
I don’t have someone to bake cardamom cookies with
We both had sticky dough on our hands
And we washed them in the same sink at the same time
I don’t have a friend at the Christmas parties
Who can back up my wild stories about the week
And argue with me about the rules for card games
I don’t have a cuddle-buddy for watching movies
We never really got the chance to do that
We were always running off to get some alone time
I don’t have to hide when I’m changing out of my wet snowy clothes
Because you’re never going to walk in from the cold
And start changing your clothes too
I don’t have a fire in my hearth
But I’m sure there’s one in yours
I used to enjoy watching you make them with your dad
I don’t have any wet, *****, sandy puddles to clean up
Because you’ll never walk across my kitchen
And forget to take off your boots
I don’t have to walk around barefoot
Even if it means getting my socks wet
Because you’re not there to remind me with your calloused toes
I don’t have twice as many presents under the tree
Not because we ever exchanged gifts, we were too poor
But every present you received and loved made me happy too
I don’t have snow down my neck from the snowballs you threw
I don’t have wet globs of melting ice in my hair because you tackled me
I don’t have anyone to make tea for, because I don’t even like tea
I don’t have your countless little siblings to share my snacks with
I don’t have to make cooking mistakes because I can’t bring you baked oatmeal
I don’t have a built in heater to share the backseat with
I don’t have a hoodie I can pass back and forth between us
I don’t have a companion to go on long walks with
I don’t have a curious mind to share kissing ideas with
I don’t have a hand to hold when I’m about to fall down on the ice
I don’t have you
This is the time of year that makes me miss you
I start to notice the empty spaces in my life
And there are little things everywhere to remind me of you.
