I wake in the morning with an aching head
My body growling and grumbling
Throwing a fit because I’m underfed.  

I’m the bathroom I stand in my reflection
I see a distorted being. A creature.
I stare trying to make sense of my confused complexion.

I can hear my family in the kitchen.
They’re cooking and chatting.
I walk past them grabbing my mittens.

“I’m going for a run” I say as I walk out the back door.
The icy Colorado wind hits my face and I feel dizzy.
A chill strikes me to my core.

I push off and hit the sidewalk as I do every morning.
My heavy feet pound against the icy sidewalk.
With each step I feel as if I’m soaring.

When I run a forget about calories.
I forget about my self hate.
I feel free as I run past the trees

Back at home I weigh myself
I’ve gone 4 days without a crumb
I remind myself that I don’t need help.

As the number shows up I feel a sense of pride
I’m down another 5.
The growling in my stomach starts to rise.

Water.
That’s all I need to survive.
I’m closing in on my goal. Maybe then I’ll matter.

I’m so close.
Just a few more days.
Then I’ll have some toast.

But not until I’m perfect.