this morning you smiled at me
and
asked how i was doing

i shrugged, "i'm doing pretty good."
and
you gave me a grin

"it's been a while, hasn't it?"
and
"yeah. yeah, it has been."

there's a silence so you laugh
and
i'm relieved you broke it

"it's really not the same anymore,"
and
you sigh because it's true

this isn't how we planned things
and
this isn't what we wanted

but it's okay, we'll fix it
and
it'll be good as new

except
(not really.)
because,

i am mesmerized by your sadness
and
held prisoner by your eyes

tip-toeing around our empty conversations
and
begrudgingly avoiding the obvious truth

you always flirt, make small talk
and
it's hard keeping my distance

i wish you would quit it
and
yet i pray you don't

in my mind you're a blur
and
it's coming at me too fast

give me mercy for i'm weak
and
shaken by your every move

she and i are petty friends
and
you and i are real

let me make this nice, clear
and
simple for you to understand

i can't think of you that way
and
i never did or will

because i have my solid reasons
and
you quite clearly have your's

which is why i am asking
and
begging to know your motives

intentions

behind
what
you
do
to
me