I have to thank you

I see who I have been
I understand what I was
I look to where I am going

I have to thank you

I feel the pallor of the existence I led
I touch the shell I once inhabited

I have to thank you

I hold no hate
I do breathe anger
I concede to the pain
I pray it is mine alone

I have to thank you

Without this decimated phase
I wouldn’t have pushed through
Without the values earned in losing us
I would never believed in myself like I do now

I have to thank you

You understood what it took for me to flourish
You hated me for it
You craved me for it

I have to thank you

The chess matches I create are false
I always wanted to accept you
I always wanted to be your exception
(if only because you were mine)

I have to thank you

I may never tell you
I may never even lead you on to this
I probably won’t ever give you the respect you are due

I have to thank you

I have to thank you for
For all the things we destroyed even ourselves
We are the difference between knowing and being
We are the people who will forever be….

I have to thank you

I have new existence
I have new purpose
Though I may wane and my ideas shift
Like the sands I asked you to see beauty in
Even if some days I grow despondent
Like the answers you gave me on those days

I have to thank you

Good luck………..