i have an obsession with language
particularly the failures of language
because there will never be
enough words to explain
the heartache i feel
upon coming home
and the confusion i feel
about not being happy

when i am away
i would do anything to be here
and when i am here
i do not feel at home
somehow this room is mine
and not mine at the same time

is there a word for
a home that is no longer a home
is there a word for a home that is
a home but it is not mine anymore
is there a word for so badly missing a place
that no longer exists
is there a word for all of this
there should be

so why is it
when language seems to fail me
i feel a sudden urge to write
the irony hits me in the stomach
like the mistakes i cannot stop making

i know that language will always fail me
and yet
i will never stop searching for the words