Everything I have
Everything I am
I gave everything to you
Every move I took
Every word I spoke
I replayed them endlessly
Fearing my mistakes
And hating myself
For every misspoken word

When will everything all end
When can I leave it
Thinking I love you
When in truth I raised you up
To the standards that
I could never meet
Giving myself an excuse
To turn all my fears
Into some purpose


Did I love you then?
Did I love you for yourself?  
Do I love you now?
Did I simply want
A lovely friend I could love
Who cares who they are?
Because now I wish
Our friendship would have lasted
It's been a long time.

Did I love myself?
Did I love me for myself?
Do I love me now?
I cannot say.
All I truly know is that
I miss an old friend.