Though I know your heart beats for someone else,
I can't stop my thoughts from tumbling along the familiar suspicions.
Do you feel something for me, after all?
Rationally, I know I'm a fool.
I know you love me as a friend, a confidant, nothing more.
So why can't I get you out of my brain?
You torture me in tiny heartbreaking ways,
The way you have others hanging off of you left and right,
The way you sing without thinking about it,
How you cut your hair just the way I like,
The soft admissions that you should be worrying about me and not the other way around--
How do you manage to tear me apart every single time?
I can't stop the ache when you offhandedly mention how attractive she is,
And I have to catch my breath when you flirt with everyone except for me.
What did I do wrong that made you not want to be with me?
What sort of cruel joke has God made, letting me find my soulmate when I'm not his?
Why am I not enough? I'm not a supermodel, but I can be beautiful when I try... So why doesn't anyone notice?
I have the worst sort of luck falling for my friends,
Mark this the seventh occurrence on my ledger
Perhaps when it finally reverses my luck, my karma will be so great that you will change your mind.
Maybe I'll find someone better.
Until then, though, there's nothing I can do to stop my racing thoughts.
They run circles round and round my head, torturing my mind with thoughts of inadequacy and imperfection--
Why? What have I done to deserve all of this pain?
I may never know, and that scares me the most.
I can only hope you will come to love me in time,
Before we part ways and before our time is done
For, you, love--
You're all I want in life.