Oct 2018
Please understand that every day i go to war and my body is left with battle wounds that can't be fixed. When i try to explain you only get mad because you don't understand how I'm tired from doing nothing.
I'm exhausted because physically and emotionally I'm drained my body breaks down so when i lay in my bed my chest feels heavy and aches while every other part of my body feels like it's covered in tons of bricks and i can't move.
Dear mom, please stop asking where you went wrong and saying you should've done better, you played you're role correctly but it doesn't help when you say cruel things hoping they will cause a positive affect.
Dear mom, I'm sorry i still haven't figured out what i want to do with my life. I have so many ideas and i want to do so many things but I'm scared i won't be good enough at any of them, I'm afraid I'll mess up or make the wrong decision and you'll say "too late your stuck with it" so please give me a little more time to figure it all out.
Dear mom, I'm not lazy , I'm depressed. You have a broken daughter and that's not your fault but i thought you could understand. Sadness weighs down my body, my head is always full of doubt and i can't look in the mirror without noticing every flaw and wishing i was in someone else's skin because i feel I'm wearing a suit that's not meant for me.
Dear mom, i never sleep because i can't stop thinking my mind never shuts off i lay there with millions of things running through my head all at once and i have to stay up because I'm scared if i dont keep fighting my demons they will swallow me in my sleep. Getting out of bed is hard because depression weakens my bones so it's hard to move, i feel so alone but my depression lays next to me and holds my hand reminding me that's my only friend and i can't let go.
Dear mom, I want to go out and do normal every day things but every time i try depression slowly puts it's arms around my waist an says "lets stay in all day together" then I'm pulled right back in.
Dear mom, i thought you could understand, i watched you battle with depression himself, i saw the way he made you cry and broke you down. You pushed everyone away and isolated yourself , you were so scared of social interaction and you hated the way you felt in your body so you were embarrassed by your looks and always turned down an invite to go out. I saw how broken it made you so i thought you could understand but instead you pretend my depression isn't real.
I'm exhausted because physically and emotionally I'm drained my body breaks down so when i lay in my bed my chest feels heavy and aches while every other part of my body feels like it's covered in tons of bricks and i can't move.
Dear mom, please stop asking where you went wrong and saying you should've done better, you played you're role correctly but it doesn't help when you say cruel things hoping they will cause a positive affect.
Dear mom, I'm sorry i still haven't figured out what i want to do with my life. I have so many ideas and i want to do so many things but I'm scared i won't be good enough at any of them, I'm afraid I'll mess up or make the wrong decision and you'll say "too late your stuck with it" so please give me a little more time to figure it all out.
Dear mom, I'm not lazy , I'm depressed. You have a broken daughter and that's not your fault but i thought you could understand. Sadness weighs down my body, my head is always full of doubt and i can't look in the mirror without noticing every flaw and wishing i was in someone else's skin because i feel I'm wearing a suit that's not meant for me.
Dear mom, i never sleep because i can't stop thinking my mind never shuts off i lay there with millions of things running through my head all at once and i have to stay up because I'm scared if i dont keep fighting my demons they will swallow me in my sleep. Getting out of bed is hard because depression weakens my bones so it's hard to move, i feel so alone but my depression lays next to me and holds my hand reminding me that's my only friend and i can't let go.
Dear mom, I want to go out and do normal every day things but every time i try depression slowly puts it's arms around my waist an says "lets stay in all day together" then I'm pulled right back in.
Dear mom, i thought you could understand, i watched you battle with depression himself, i saw the way he made you cry and broke you down. You pushed everyone away and isolated yourself , you were so scared of social interaction and you hated the way you felt in your body so you were embarrassed by your looks and always turned down an invite to go out. I saw how broken it made you so i thought you could understand but instead you pretend my depression isn't real.
