Everyday I'm feeling a little more ****** up
It's like I can't breathe anymore cause my minds stuck
Pulling back this chamber is for luck
Putting it's barrel to this temple is ******
Bang I wake up
It wasn't enough to pull me back from the black
It's weight is getting to be to much on my back **** that
Inside I'm dying wishing instead for a better life before this one ends up dead
You can find me screaming get out of my head
Tired of all the whispers said
Cause I'm barely getting by with day to day medication as my salvation
Asking who the **** is this man in the mirror I'm facing
When I'm wasting away
Glass I'm tasting
As I try holding onto my sanity with dedication since what I'm facing is beyond imagination
It's all I can do to try taking it on in some moderation
Fighting suffocation
Deep down I'm mentally fading away into some basement, like I'm looking at life thru some air vent
Wondering what the **** it meant
Where was it I've been sent
Last I remember I tried to commit suicide but when I put the blade to my wrist the knife only bent
Now I can see padded walls when ever I blink
As I'm staring at this cement
Hoping things will make sense any minute and then before I knew it the padded walls stayed
And I'm sitting in a straight jacket
Pictures on the wall of a black and grey casket
Looking past it I can see what happened
I'm sorry for all the sadness
I never meant you to see me wrapped in this plastic I just couldn't handle anymore of the madness
So if you will sympathetically forgive me regrettably this is how it had to be
Selfishly for me so suddenly I didn't want you to see
I know it doesn't make sense so please don't plead for answers when there's no need
All you gotta do is take the time to read this little note I wrote
Hidden in the attic I hope you can find it
It's in a blood soaked envelope holding everything I wrote about why I felt I had to die
Stories about every time I tied the tie tight around my throat
The noose that broke
To the kitchen floor where blood flowed
The wrist that choked
While explaining feelings deep inside that fogged my mind
And the questions that plagued my every why I couldn't find
Misery loves lies
Let me show you it's life threw my eyes one rhyme at a time
So don't step off the paper line as you watch the pens cries dance across each words spine
I hope you survive the diary of an addict who's finally had it
Sincerely yours truly this the psychopathic of the tragic