the battle within

deephate lossand anguish it all mixesinto onelargemess somewords dont eventouch thisfeeling myeyes areallout of tears and hanghalfclosed or is it halfopen to you whofeel myheart—does itevenbeat hard totell youcant know whati befeeling howcan you foolsunderstand youwant tohelp then LEAVEMEALONE theresnothing youcando tosave mefromthis pit of des- pair ilike theblack ofthis smallroom iusedto likepink iwanted tobe apretty princess andlive inacastle witha kingso kind butdreams dont cometrue learnthisnow youfools dreams are like pa- per burningin theFLAMES OFHELL just like me . . . . do not give up myChild I still loveyou myChild youvegone farther than rockbottom butlisten to Me listen listenlisten toMe . . . . I THOUGHT I GOTRIDOF YOU HOWDARE YOU COMEINTO THIS SOULOFMINE LEAVEHER ALONE you are so alone myfriend cantyousee noonecares about you theylie when theysay dothose fools listentomee tome listen to me . . . . thischaos inside icannotcontrol itatall iwantto SCREAMAND SHOUTbut icant i wantto crybut icant letgo of me setme FREE p l e a s e . . . . up uplook upMy Child iamnot faraway letyourheart beat beat beat again takemy hand myChild iwill neverleave younor forsake you myChild istill love you . . . . is that alight itsbeenso dark for solong imnot evensure what lightlooks like do i dareto hope dare tolook up up up . . . . YOU FOOL thereis nolight light doesnot exist ithought youwould have LEARNEDTHIS BY NOW theonly waytogo is down down down . . . . here iam myChild here i am take my hand please dontlook down dontlook down i still loveyou myChild ido i do . . . . i cant lookdown doi darelook up amieven worthit thelight is faint butican see it clear as day . . . . NO YOUFOOL you arenot worthy you cannot hope donteven try hope is frail youcant trust hope . . . . i surprise myself istill look up ithink maybe there is a littlehope maybethere is a little hope . . . . yes myChild there is hope still look up and see the light gets bigger warmer see me here I still love you myChild I still love you . . . . NO YOU FOOL no you fool no you fool . . . . the light is warm the light is bright i like the light i like the light . . . . no dont leaveme here alone listen to me one last time . . . . LEAVE MYCHILD ALONE myChild you are safe here in the light you are safe here in the light i still love you.

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Poet-i-t-m

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