one
2 - 3 - 4 - 5 -
followed by deep breaths
and two laps around the park
stopping only for water and the french bulldog that looks a lot like tank - only his name is charlie - still cute nonetheless
baby, why did you stop running
i'm sorry - there was this -
you don't want to hear it
two
more phone calls spent entirely explaining how you love me
but you just don't love me
three
more hours until i'm in your arms again
i just hope you hold me close enough that you actually feel me
feel what it is like to hold someone you love
four
when shopping at a local farmer's market - i always see this same couple in the fruit section - they seem much older than me - still the seem so youthful - still they light up even when all that surrounds them is dark - they are not afraid to face their demons - defeat them and still be grateful - i once asked them how they define unconditional love
five
i once cried in the shower trying to wash off all of the flaws i had that made you walk away and find love in better places - far away from me - closer to your dreams
six
i'm sorry - this isn't how i normally act -
its just i had so much left to say only to realize i left my phone on mute
seven
silly boy, don't you know? love isn't something you can read directions for
eight
i pray that you never have to look in the mirror and be terrified by the demons staring back at you - i pray you never lose sleep trying to hide from them - i pray - i pray - i pray -
nine
according to the book 'real love', unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought of what we might get ourselves
ten
its no wonder why i've spent all of this time trying to make myself happy again