The weight of expectations have been laid upon varied scales
regardless of results it's something I ain't carried well
that's how I know my dreams are just fairy tales
cuz your goals aren't something that you just barely failed
The start of how my doubts came to attain this leverage
I've bit my tongue and intoxicating prides my beverage
I need to be cut off but I can't start the severance
Everything amounting on me is dwarfing Everest
life keeps throwing you in your past and you're broken
you had the confidence, you were brash and you're gloating
warnings came subtle so you ain't grasped what was spoken
I don't remember the time it was last you were open
emotions you harbor have been dangerous to hide
you push em deep down, that's how anguish abides
now you hate yourself so much you languish for pride
it's even tough to put qualms you've vanquished aside
and you won't talk to nobody like your language has died and there's a lot on your plate so the pain pitched inside

how you expect to be blessed when it's curses you speak?
how do you expect guidance with no purpose to seek?
my heart wants love, my mind searches for peace
havoc is the only thing this nervousness wreaks

a two faced man, you're in the circus at least

cuz I say the only way you would do me a service is leave
when me and my words are all that versus this beast
yet somehow every time all my verses are bleak
I have nothing to look back on and say I accomplished
self disdain always comes as a ruthless accomplice
I can't release the anger that I've hid in my soul
my idiocy says I'll get out as I'm digging the hole
I can only feel more alone in a prison that grows
I know you hate yourself with such a villainous loathe
drowning in an ocean of hate not willing to float

cuz an ocean of hate won't let you be sure(shore) of healing or hope…….