best friends for over half my life.
taken bullets from guns and dulling the knife.
a connection of care and true love
showing the good and who I really was.
your smile and compassionate hugs
better choices suggested than these **** drugs.
every night dreaming and screaming for the end
saved once again by my true best friend
many years pass so many trials of self hate
your beautiful eyes show me there's an escape.
when I'm in doubt I know I can rely on you
if you were gone forever what would I do
can't help but fall in love and deep into you
the savior you've become is real and something true

than came that time i feel darker and less of a man
you seem confused and less willing to understand
my rock, my pillow, the one that kept me alive
alone now dying, crying, wondering how to survive.
its work, the relationship and a new house
fading from your eyes and mind wondering how
I know now I'm a grown *** man
without you I feel like I can't even stand.
the texts and the calls become lesser by the day
but that depression has its ways.
calling out for help but you can't be reached
Sad on the outside deeper within suicide creeps
waking another day am I alive wondering in panic
living day to day I can't ******* handle it
you say you love me and really do care
but in the darkest times your longer never aware

A phone call placed to you not by me but the police
locked up in a mental ward with more drugs no release.
we talk every night and you choose to call me
the connection we had mends and feels healthy
My confidence grows and I feel like a man
Giving me support and love whenever you can.
the doubts, anger, worries all subside
but deep beneath this smile I think of suicide

again more time passes and you become to busy
Always missing you, wishing you missed me
dark feelings engulf and slowly take over
Suicide sounds fine thinking of that closure.
one last call, voicemail again my final feelings heard
your my best friend I'm sorry this may seem absurd
When that breaking point hits like a ton of bricks
Left alone to worry about me being mentally sick
I wish you were there at least this ******* time
because this is farewell my suicide my final goodbye