If I hear one more person throw shade at you I might just cry
You’re human
You make mistakes
… Well at least that’s what I tell myself

Maybe I am stupid
Maybe this is some kind of self-punishment
I can’t let myself be happy
I can’t let myself feel loved by another
How can I when I still want to feel loved by you?

I hate that I love you
I hate that I lie to you
But it’s to keep you
I hate that you’re happy for me
I hate that I can’t be happy without you
I try to push you away
I can’t

You have become my life support
You have become my security blanket
I’m so sorry
I’m so sorry

I never meant for this to happen
How do I fix it though
How do I tell you the truth
How do I make the lies stop
How do I make myself stop

I break everything I touch
I am a disease
And you are infected
Please get rid of me
Throw me away
Make me hate you

Please, I beg you
Hate me
Hate everything that I am
Hate my past
Hate my present
Hate my future
Just hate me
Save yourself from me