Clara is in deep thought.
Head on pillow. Hand
resting beside head, one
ring on finger. She sighs.

Senses still his touches,
smells still his aftershave,
his body odours beneath.
Moves leg. Muscles in

left buttock feel numb.
She didn’t want to leave,
didn’t want him to stay,
didn’t want him anyway.

She moves her toes. He
****** those. He said let’s
make love and that was it.
If that was love then love

is not what love was often
promised. She sniffs the pillow.
His smell, his presence there.
A small strand of hair. Her

mother never spoke of ***
or what it entailed; her mother
failed. She moves on her
back, stretches her legs.

Had cramp. The moves he
wanted, the positions he
required. Now she’s tired.
She senses the urgent need

to urinate. Full bladder.
Closes eyes. Feels the need
increase. Needs release.
She wonders what made

him make love the way he did;
those moves and positions.
The language he used. She
feels abused. She sits up.

Needs to urinate, moves
to edge of the bed, stands
and races to the toilet.
Door’s stuck; ****, too late.