You think I am strong
because I have survived.
Survived abuse, ****, neglect, and lack of love.
You think I have thrived.

But you weren’t there
when I finally broke.
You weren’t there when I screamed
You weren’t there when I choked.

I did give up.
I ate that bottle.
But the people around me
Ripped my hand off of the throttle.

I haven’t moved on
But I think I choose to stand still
Not because I don’t want my future
But more darkness will come
And that one might **** me

I cry alone in my living room
Talking to someone that isn’t there
Not because I’m crazy
But because losing my sanity is near.

Death does not scare me.
Not anymore.
Living scares me most
Letting people in while my heart is still torn.

Stuck in my victim status.
That’s what my mother calls it.
Little does she know
A year isn’t long enough to heal ****.

I wish I had a normal life
But no my just keeps *******
So I guess I’ll continue my destructive ways
Smoking, drinking, speeding, *******.

Love doesn’t hurt right
Then what the **** is happening
Nobody ever broke me
While screaming that they loathe me.
When does the pain start capping?

Does anyone have the answer?
Cause I sure ******* don’t
I’m tired of typing my feelings
Cause you think I’ll finally “cope”

One day I’ll chnage my life
One day I’ll make it big.
I’ll scream my story from the roof
And you just have to ******* sit.
And listen.