This December I remember
All the nightmares that have haunted me
for years and years.
All the tears that I have shed
for not only myself
but for others.
I remember myself
before I discovered the love that I have
for my own self worth.
I can't help but think
and dream
about the future that I hold
That I grasp
and wonder how
I ever did anything right
When all I did was fight
a battle undeserved.
Considering the circumstances
I feel as though life
has begun once again.
Everything is new
yet everything is old.
And as time goes by
I will heal and grow.
The clarity I feel will show
even though I don't quite
understand it.
I will push through
With energy untold
My book will unfold
in fast-forward.
Some days I will feel dead.
And some days I will dread.
But at least all these heavy burdens
are just deep and heavy wounds and scars
that I am stitching up.
One memory at a time.
I do still feel and bleed the pain away
Yet this December I discovered
That I am finally alive.