I love you, Maya.
He whispered, the words etching on my skin. His crisp blue eyes stared into mine, like a longing. It made me uncomfortable, a feeling I wasn't used to, the way he looked into my brown eyes, the eye color I always hated, but he stared into as if they were the most beautiful color he’s seen. I told him I was scared to love, that to me loving was the greatest form of vulnerability. He promised me that he would stay, that he wouldn't hurt me the same way I’ve grown comfortable being hurt before. I trusted him. I trusted him. I trusted him.
Maya. I love you, but I can’t do this anymore.
He whimpered, three days before our one year anniversary. My heart dropped, his dull blue eyes staring into the ocean in mine. He brushed my reddened cheeks with his lips, telling me he was sorry and how he will always love me and how we could still be friends. My heartbeat grew slower and his voice fading into an endless stream of things he said. How can you love someone and leave them? How could you make me just a memory? How could you just pretend like the fire we spent months building meant nothing and just let it die? How could you hurt me the same way I've been hurt before? This is not the first time I’ve heard these words come out of his mouth though. The way he said my name was pained, and the name I once loved was now poisoned, alongside every store, song, and friend I've ever shared with him. He’s hurt me like this before, if I don't leave it now, he’ll hurt me again. Whether he means it or not, hurt people hurt people. And he could only meet me as deeply as he met himself.
I stare into his once vibrant eyes. The eyes he once used to look me in with such love and compassion but is now only filled with sadness and regret. It's time to let go. My voice cracks, but I opened my mouth and spoke.
Within these few months it's clear you’ve forgotten what love meant.
But my love was real, and the rules were something that will not be bent.