This morning I had to go ***** so bad I squeezed and I pushed with all that I had And after what seemed like a great battle I heard a ker-plunk from what I did straddle The mighty splash that this thing made To have a look, my curiosity bade So up I did rise slowly and sure So as not to drop any poo onto the floor I looked into the bowl not believing my eyes This terd was of a most bodacious size The cause of the strain was now easy to see I new then not what I had set free It leaned upright on the side of the bowl Like it was in a jacuzi relaxed and whole As I looked at it again in utter disbelief I knew I had to flush away my relief But when I pushed the handle on the toilet I found All the **** did is spin round and round Like a wooden stick in water being stirred I was amazed at the stiffness of this **** When the flush was done I looked with disdain The **** was still there and left not even a stain I flushed again with greater resolve And the **** broke in half as it did revolve But then as it started to finally go down Something then happened that made me frown It got stuck and clogged up the hole I watched in horror as water filled the bowl It plugged the toiled up tight like a cork And now I wished I'd chopped it up with a fork I grabbed the plunger from off of the floor And plunged real hard, for my toiled to restore But though I plunged with all of my might It seemed that the **** was winning this fight After several minutes the water went down But only at a trickle as again I did frown So along I did move from plan A to plan B I'd show this **** who's the boss, not it, but me So with hot water, a bucket I did fill And dumped it in so it could swallow that pill After twenty buckets, the **** did give way And I was able to flush. Hip-Hip-Hooray!