I must ask myself, why this keeps happening and I know the answer
its because I'm afraid of you, my partner, who is supposed to work with me
but we only met a few months ago and I'm already sensing you'd rather feed
me to the dogs than change yourself, which is what they, the company asked you to do
So I said yes, and of course I used to think: this is only a problem in love
In love I get kicked around, but I'm OK with everything else but that's not true
it's the same **** thing with you who I will never be in love with because you are
a woman and just like me
and I don't even know if you know about yourself what I know and that is it is obvious
to me that you feel like you are invulnerable
but I have just survived a battle, and garnered a little respect and some advice from
someone who should know and now I do have a little bit of leverage
oh, how I cried to a stone who could no hear me and tallied it up to me being crazy
but if I'm to keep this job, I can't let you steam roll me again, you see,
because my shoulders hurt and I've been up since the crack of dawn on a day off
correcting a zillion papers that I knew would appear if I agreed with you
but at that moment when you were bellowing at me, to back down seemed the
only thing to do.  but now, with no break and feeling like I'm sick just because I've
been sitting here all day with a warm laptop on my legs and no swimming or even
going out to do anything but laundry and it's still not done I know that
I can't I must I must learn to stand up for myself in my terror, the
terror of a small child inside.