Its nearly 3 am yet again
Up late lonely wondering about friends
I look back on all the friends that come and go
Than there's that rare few that remained for the show
As time presses on suicides leaving me behind
A couple left so distant "busy" sure that's fine
Attempts to find new friends and again just used
Money, greed, my time stolen just more abuse
I fall back on the few true friends that remain
And again just to busy, from them all its just the same
Lonely, stressed, looking for that friend to talk to
Unanswered texts for days, calls ignored from me to you
Feelings darken, questions flood my mind
Why I am no longer worth anyone's thoughts and time
Checking back in to me seldomly here and there
I really think but no longer feel you really care
A self image in the mirror ugly, depressed, broken teeth
Caring, loyal, honest, fun, loving, creative this is what lies beneath
Hating myself, because I feel you in fact hate me
Is this what is created after years of laughter and insanity
I know you live a busy life, well so do I
But a time in need is a time indeed, alone asking why
I've poured all my emotions, strength, love and effort into you
A slight fraction of that in return would be amazing and true
Yet I struggle alone in the chaos and madness of life
Sorting through the emotional pieces sorting wrongs from right
Destined to be alone I regretfully and sadly realize
I'm nothing special nor important just a lost memory in everyone minds
I accept the failure, I accept this dreadful defeat
Just know after this suicide you will never be able to call on me
Cry tears of nothing and act like now you really did care
But those little texts and smiles, those times you could have been there.
Its to late now, no its not your fault it was a personal choice
My life, my emotions, my body, my unheard voice
Just please when I'm dead and gone dont act like you give a ****
Because truly in the end it was you all I missed