God it’s been a while

How long since I prayed?
How long since I reached out?
How long since I called you
Sincerely?

You were the whisper in my head,
A light  beside my bed
The nights I wished I was dead.

So tell me.
Where does the Hope go
Every time I lift my eyelids.

When will the sensation end?
I find myself forcing breath out of my lungs.

I wake up, angry that I did.
Now I’m afraid to fall asleep.