Sitting
Watching the rain fall down
The soft cushions I sit on absorb me
My eyes track the glistening drops that
Race down the glass in front of me
My breath fogs on the window
Looking down on it, it reflects a rainbow

Something that on another day
I would find beautiful
Any other day

My hand opens and closes still empty
My other rests in my hair

The cracked cement darkens with the rain
Glistening and reflecting the golden foliage above
One large puddle in the middle of the street
Holds a sun above treetops
On the ground below their trunks

The sun is clear as it often is in the mornings
Like a glass of water, cool, crisp and transparent
Despite the rain
No children run in the streets
Puddles left unsplashed
One tricycle sits
Yellow and red plastic too wet to sit on
A shoe floats in a puddle
Pink laces fray pink leather fades

The room I sit in is almost silent
My heartbeats and a shallow breath
This is the loudest room in the house

Diamonds and squares of light
Spill farther into the room as the sun rises
A gently tipping bucket of stained glass
My body is exhausted
The calm after a storm
Sadness soothing muscles clenched from anger the night before
Breathe in
Breathe out
Steady slow
My tears slow
Stop
And dry


Warm memories
Laying in the grass
Sun glancing off my freckles
What’s not to smile about?

But sitting in a dark room with the lights off
Simply because no one is here would need them on
But me
Not quite as warm

But in the darkness
Other senses flourish
Music is that much more beautiful
Textures have more vibrancy than before
So while that dark is a reminder of being alone
It’s a way to better experience that moment
A better way to see the person who is in the room

You aren’t alone when your with you
And that dim light makes you hear your heart beat
Feel every fiber of your hair

You are perfect
Perfection with flaws
Like home cooked food or handmade art

I stand up from those cushions
I run my fingers through my unbrushed hair
And see that I need to stop looking at that window

I need to stop waiting for something
And start doing something