Listen to the bell's toll It brings solace to the soul The imps of my fitful slumber Hope to drag me in the deep of sleep Awakening to the noon of day I leave my house with no delay Hoping to find the one I love, dream of Upon the stone from where she lays As I rush into the sea of granite The tombstones' voices drown my thoughts A hundred murders, a thousand deaths Accusations, reveries, pleadings They cloud my mind And I embrace darkness. I feel the chilling touch of winter's baby soft breath As I rise to my feet To find myself in front Of my long lost lover's Final retreat A heathen's breath descends upon My heaving breast As I claw the cursed ground, oh, the cursed ground, Away from this place of solemnity ‑ As the final clod of dirt is removed, in an air of infallibility I hope to obtain a glimpse of my dearest Only to find those accursed pits of black like a pool of tainted water
With hair like limpid worms in the night And that ghastly nightmare grin, Mocking my very existence to see whom I seek In a terrible rage, I shred, I tear, I smash, and render the Beast Indistinguishable in any form I fling myself into the streets Tearing thru the crowds Vaulting over and thru the market stalls To find my wild flight halted by a pair of Panicked citizens hoping to alleviate my obvious distress Only now in a flash of mental shock That throws me close to an unconscious state Does the realization of my actions ascend to my heavens And as the citizens holding me let go I myself let go Of everything and everyone that matters Or should matter to me Stumbling, hoping to hold my balance along the precipice From which my mind has already cast itself ‑ I once again see a dripping, searing red rage cloud my vision as the madness That had taken me among the tombstones returns Swatting aside those near me I approach the river that runs thru the city And staring into the depths I see the creature that I had become A haggard defeated man that had succumbed to the Eternal darkness that engulfs everyone in time And I see my love, the one who I had sought for so long Alongside this poor creature that is within me Her presence is all that I can now perceive And I let my grasp on this world Decay, and as I sink into the depths My love approaches and embraces me
In the final act of Love
In the final act of Life
In the only act of Death.
I do not sleep well at all. Never have. This time I woke up and felt very, very depressed, which was unusual. So I wrote. I was about 14 at the time.