a quiet world
leaves are dropping down
through the sky
onto my clothes
walking down a nature trail
i'm holding hands with the air
tightly

coming home, there are flashbacks
no one is outside
my family is out for the night
tilting my head down low
i harvest the rest of the jalapenos
i wanted to grow with you

-

taking a bit out of one,
i wanted to see your shocked expression
and hear you say "oh my god logan"
as i'd smile and hold in my emotion
to make you laugh
i'd ask you to try it, and you would giggle and say
"no, it'll hurt"

my kisses would be painful
because of the pepper
i would laugh
as i got you something to drink

-

my wrists snap
as i lift my 30th bag of mulch
for someone elses garden
"thank you, you're a blessing"
"no problem, have a good day sir"
checking my phone,
i'd look to see if you had posted something
. . .
nothing for today
sighing, i'd recall those years we were together
you told me not to let you haunt me
but i only ever thought of you
as a blessing

-

i really do love you.