Hey there stranger, you want to know something about me?
The struggles from manic thinking to a peaceful zone of apathy
I look in the mirror and think, think back on my childhood days
Hiding in closets, attics and further outside my home
The abuse endured daily, finding comfort being alone
The sadistic thinking of a troubled mother and father
Exhausting my self to please and make you happy, why even bother
The choices you made and the darkness you brought upon me
The self in the mirror is engulfed in a mental, torturous, agony
All the negatives have stored themselves deep within
A look back on any happy days and notice none were mine
I got through it and I moved far and beyond that
They still linger and attack though, pulling me back into the dark
The past haunts in the most unusual and complex ways
I find myself most comfortable on my darkest days
I can smile when I cut myself, punch myself and even eat soap
I look for someone that mistreat me and hang me from this rope
I dont think I can handle or even understand love
Keep smiling as the dusty memories are swept under the rug
Its when that rug is shaken I see and feel the real me
Masochism borderline sadism, stuck in this abuse for eternity
The only thing I know is how to not treat my kids and loved ones
Have yet to slip, only with myself. If that time comes my hand is on the gun