Is it rape if you don't put up a fight or scream?
But you said stop,
and they didn't.
But you drank...
you were helpless and terrified.
"It was your choice", they say so heartlessly.
It was not.
"You never tried to escape", they say to me with disgust.
Their words destroy me inside.
I stood no chance against them, and I knew it.
Is it rape if you obeyed?
You wanted so badly to run but your body
wouldn't move
frozen with fear you remembered.
"Why didn't you scream then?" Is what they'll say.
I wanted so badly to push them off me
to run away and never come back,
to disconnect from my body,
to die.
I was encouraged so badly to report it,
"It will give you closure",
"You will inspire others",
"People will think you are so strong",
so I did.
But instead of praise I got criticism and disrespect.
I wanted so badly to come out with this rape,
I was told I would be safe,
I was not.
But I reported it, it's my fault they would victim blame.
They would say since they're so successful,
she just wanted attention and money.
They let it slide because after all,
those boys are so young and talented,
why would we want to ruin their lives?
Yet mine is already ruined.