Welp, I guess that's all I needed
Just to get out and talk to someone
Idk why I push myself so far into a corner
When it's so easy to just get someone to talk to
Even if its little conversations that don't go anywhere
But when I can find someone who's really going to listen and pay attention
That's when I can get all my admitting out
And finally face my problems
Because I'm not alone
Words make the thoughts real
Writing it all down helps but it's not enough for me apparently
I need to learn how to talk about things
I need to learn that there are people that care about me
Even if the head count is only three
They don't mind listening to me talk
And thats where I get myself
People want to hear me
The whole "company" thing is what everyone needs
At least sometimes
I can't just be alone
I can't do it
I need the comfort of someone else's presence
Even if we're quiet and not doing anything
If we're in the same room doing different things
Just KNOWING that someone is there
That's what I need
And if talking to that person is easy
Then I'm set
Someone to just be like "Hi"
And start something
For some reason it's impossible for me to start a conversation
I don't know why I'm so ******* myself
I don't know why I shut myself off from the world
I don't know why I beat myself up so badly
It could be so easy
But I'm so stubborn