I realized, in Christian thought
If I prayed as much as I wrote
As much as I swore

If I read the Bible
As much as I make innuendos
Fake inappropriate with friends

If I spoke to God
As much as I speak to friends
As much as I spend time on the internet
As much as I listened to music
As much as I filled up every moment with noise...

I'd be a saint.

But I'm not.
I don't pursue.
I don't wake up saying,
"Lord Jesus, help me help others.
Help me be a better man."

Sure there are weeks
Then there are weaks

I'm left clutching a beer
Glass of ***
*****
Shots of Tequila

Wishing I was a better man.
Hoping I can be a better man.
Yet, when push comes to shove,
I do nothing.

I love You Father.