Sometimes I go out at night and
Lay myself down in the sheets of snow
No matter how cold or wet my clothes get I stay
And dream of a boy I've never met

His kindness scared me, nice words
Piercing through my ears and laughs escaping
My mouth felt deadly for a person who has to bring
Themselves forcefully to smile just a little

I don't remember the name I used to call him with
Time we spent together felt so unrealistic, like a dream, like a nightmare
Like a story we've written together, changing fate
Of each other and revealing more than we should

But I loved it, even the pain sourced in a boy
Whose answers were warm for the heart but ice cold to the touch
That it hurt, that cold were his hands but the moment
He put it in mine and embraced all I was with demons in my head
I could care less about it

After all he was an angel with blurry memories of heaven
Which rejected him for his sins undone and left him with a feather
And blood on his hands, scars of what used to be his and him and I
Just couldn't help but touch his dreadful living

His bones were so fragile and his skeleton delicate
He lied on the hospital bed, killing time with my younger self
And I adored what he wrote with every piece of my heart
Though it felt so devilish afterwards when his response never came

But back then I was probably too young to know
That he most likely moved on and had some reasons
Perhaps his wired knee could work again so he ran back to the world
Where he truly belonged rather than stay there with monsters and hunters
That tried to **** him at any opportunity they had

After all this time I still remember what you said, not to me
To my girl, that she's like a butterfly with one wing light and the other dark
One full of the good, beautiful things that made her herself
And the other covered in fear and doubts about her existence

And she didn't love you, she loved your man
After everything he have done for her
I was naïve back then but I don't want to be today when I say
I don't know if you're reading this, but I hope you're okay
Because the days that passed you were my real life angel