Seeing that I'm sitting here crying
Proves to me how deeply I still care
As much as I say I don't give a ****
That's just honestly so unfair

To me and to you
I can't even face my own truth
I lie to myself over and over
I'm unconscious to my own youth

I hide everything I can
Until it all gets too much
I reach the lowest low
To where I flinch at every touch

My hearts been locked away
So please don't bust it out
I'm not ready to say a word
Because all I'll do is pout

When I think about talking
And all the things I should say
I clam up tightly
And tell everyone to go away

But that's not helping me you see
My emotions are strained
When I feel what I feel
It just can't be explained

I've somehow convinced myself
That's there's something so wrong with me
Something so incredibly awful
That I've thrown myself out to sea

Lost in the darkness that suffocates me
No hope in finding my way back
Seems like I'll be stuck out here for a while
Struggling with a heart attack

I hate opening myself up to the world
Even if that world is just you
Pestering you with my doubts and denials
Doesn't seem to make do

It doesn't help at all
Because my words don't make sense
If you could only see
Just how ******* intense

I apologize too **** much
For something I can't even explain
All I ******* know is
That I'm tired of the pain