I want to drink myself
Into a stupor
I want to pinch the nerve
Until it no longer feels

How do I wind myself
Until I am stuck?
How did I crash land
Ont he same stranded island?

Lying ,
And loving,
Choosing
Has never been my best choice

I can't breathe
My eyes are blacked out
Swimming in this murky water

Somehow I can't drown
Yet
I think that is my only way out.