i don’t know why i do this to myself
late at night
contemplating my existence
hoping to sustain myself
with substances
hoping to fill the whole in me
that eats me alive

hoping that life will give me more
even though it won’t
convincing myself that nothing matters
ill be gone in a few decades anyway

is it right
to drown my sorrows
with drugs
and hope that
i can reach
a new level of pain

it’s getting blurry