Restless I rock, back and forth, back and forth, squeezing my knees, shutting my eyes, so the tears don't fall, I'm breathing hard, Huh-Ha-Huh-Ha-Huh-Ha- my heart is beating in my head, Fingernails digging into my leg. I'm shaking, I'm waiting, for that sound. A door, being slammed. A voice, being raised. A glass, being broken. Back and forth, back and forth back and -