As I sit here and watch the rain drop from my window pane I’m listening to the voices in my head Look and thinking about all this depression and anxiety U know when they say u a teen u go through these little phases
But what I’m feeling and going through is not phases I tried drugs to numb the pain I tried cutting myself to escape Even tried killing my self to escape theses voices in my head and the monster who keeps comin for me
Nothing worked I even tried talkin bout it I sent signs too ppl that I was goin thru hell And that the monster was coming to get me I don’t know what else too do maybe everyone is blindfolded frm this beast
Or maybe they just don’t care about my wellbeing Which ever the wind blows Listening to Xxxtentacion and how everybody loved him But no one look at the signs he was giving out They only saw music that they can listen to not the pain he was going thru
Maybe that’s wat I’m doing with these poems I’m writing but no one sees the pain and the message Only see the poetry maybe that’s wat they want to see Who knows
As I sit here and think about life all I see is a big blurry picture Only thing is clear is the monster who’s been waiting on me The monster no one can see only I The monster who’s taking over my life And making it it’s own The monster who pushed ppl way thinking they life everybody else The monster who controls everything The monster who talks too me The monster who take theses thoughts and lock them in my head The monster no one sees but me
The monster is u Your the monster Your the monster because u act like u don’t see me You act like u can’t hear me But u hear every word and thought that goes thru my head Your the reason I’m like this Your the reason I feel like this Or is it the other monster No No No No No Get out my head Both of y’all the reason Y’all the reason for all of this Y’all the reason for everything Y’all the reason I act like this Y’all the reason I do this Y’all the reason I’m like this Y’all the reason can’t sleep only can think bout death Y’all the reason in every nightmare I die Because that’s wat y’all want But once I’m gone ain’t no comin bck Never Thanks to the monsters Who been controlling me Forever