Now, I believe in bigfoot
I've seen it with my own eyes
It was hairy and all hunched over
And it's **** was covered with flies

It had a smell that I can't describe
I even had to hold my nose
That hairy thing scared me so bad
I just stood there and froze

It's face was ugly and covered with hair
I couldn't tell about it's gender
It just stood there staring at me
Like it wanted me to surrender

It opened its mouth and a noise came out
It was trying to communicate
I couldn't understand a word it said
And I wasn't about to wait

I took off running as fast as I could
With that monster right on my tail
I thought I was gonna regurgitate
Remember, I told you, "the smell"?

I almost made it, til my wife made me trip
That's when I started to fall
She said, "Stop it! What are you doing?"
For it was only my mother-in-law