Budding


Aint nothin around....
To ease my pain.
I live in circles
Of loss and gain.
I cant go here,
I cant go there,

Its always somethin.

Im laying here,
All I found is cold nothings

And I can't force you to come
My way,
I have somethin of need to say
But I cant bring you around right now
Cause I am an enemy...
To myself right now.

And right now,
I need you right now.
I just find it harder to explain when I'm not sober.
I look over my shoulder and
A gnat flies by buzzing my ear off,
I swing and swing like the chime of a bell tower
And the hour it stops and
When I crawl back to you.

When I tremble, I want to fall back to you,
And you'll take care of my insecurities,
And throw away everything dear to me,
Selfishly knowing that,

You're the only one dear to me.

You,  hearing my complaint and easing my pain is the window opening in the scorching summer,
I just open it and

Ah!

There you are putting me to rest.
None the less,
Its hard for me to stay away,
And definitely hard to say,

I hardly smile when Im awake.

I dream of you and get all excited inside,
My inside cling to my dreams of you,
If I could sing,
I'd sing to you the words of,
"What lies inside my mind,
Is hard for me to find,
So I sought myself,
And found you instead"

What is it that makes me scream from the inside?

Hiding in the corner from nothing.
Because you fight my demons away,
And shallow to say, that when you leave,
I turn to them the next day.

I say, "let me away"
And you draw closer.
Just who are you to be in my life?
Demanding my love and tenderness,
I just hope for a home of happiness,
And not a wicked grand delusion,
Drinking became less of a problem and more of a soul-u-tion.

Wait.

Did you see the way I spelled it out?
I've handled moderation,
I really just want you loving me
That's really my vacation.

Loving me,
Whether until tomorrow or the end,

You love me?
You show it, and that's why you're my best friend.